Blender Reviews E=MC²

First Listen: Mariah Carey's Shocking New Album

Posted 4/3/2008 3:56:00 PM by Ryan Dombal

A couple days ago, we were fortunate enough to hear Mariah's fizzy new album in its entirety. The record officially hits stores and websites April 15 but, to tide fans over, here's a quick run-down of the songs that stood out most. (Note: We're going to go out on a limb and predict this album will be a hit.)

"Migrate" [ft. T-Pain]
Producer: DanjaHandz
Song Type: Future funk
Silliest Lyric: "Don't wait for me to buy drinks or you gonna dehydrate" (T-Pain)
Tantalizingly Brief Critique: T-Pain turns Mariah into a pleasant sideshow here.

"Cruise Control" [ft. Damian Marley]
Producer: Jermaine Dupri
Song Type: Plastic reggae
Silliest Lyric: "He bring the drama, six baby mamas/ But uh oh, I can't resist him"
Tantalizingly Brief Critique: Laughable ragga accent + countless driving metaphors = perfect song to blast out of the sunroof this summer.

"Side Effects"
Producer: Scott Storch
Song Type: Midtempo rap-rock
Silliest Lyric: "Shining like a chandelier that decorated every room inside the private hell we built"
Tantalizingly Brief Critique: Ex-husband/tormentor Tommy Mottola will not enjoy listening to this kiss off.

"I'm That Chick" [ft. Young Jeezy]
Producer: StarGate
Song Type: Off the Wall rip-off
Silliest Lyric: "I'm like that oooweee you're fiendin' to blaze up"
Tantalizingly Brief Critique: Mariah as full-out disco diva!

"Love Story"
Producer: Jermaine Dupri
Song Type: "We Belong Together"-type semi-ballad
Silliest Lyric: "They on the phone like, 'Ay bay bay let's meet up today'"
Tantalizingly Brief Critique: This will be a smash.

"I'll Be Lovin' U Long Time"
Producer: DJ Toomp
Song Type: Kanye West-style soul-sample R&B
Silliest Lyric: See title
Tantalizingly Brief Critique: Vietnamese whores will love this song.

O.O.C."
Producer: Swizz Beatz
Song Type: Hip-hop / R&B hybrid
Silliest Lyric: "So sorry, whatever happened to empathy/ I know y'all motherf***ers feel like we"
Tantalizingly Brief Critique: O.O.C. = out of control = that new slang.

"Bye Bye"
Producer: StarGate
Song Type: Sap-fest ballad
Silliest Lyric: "Mamas, daddys, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins/ This is for my people who lost their grandmothers"
Tantalizingly Brief Critique: This one goes out to anyone who's lost anyone! Universal sh**, y'all!

"I Wish You Well"
Producer: James Poyser
Song Type: Gospel screamer
Silliest Lyric: "But who remains still standing then/ Not you not I see Philippians 4:9" (seriously)
Tantalizingly Brief Critique: The Mariah Carey equivalent of a trip to Sunday School.